In exactly 1 month, the boy and I will be saying our vows. I, for one, can't believe that it's almost here. And not just in that "oh my goodness we are going to live happily ever after" kind of belief. More along the lines of what the heck are we getting ourselves into?
Every day is a new adventure of discovering idiosyncrasies, deep seeded traditions, outright stupidities and then trying to figure out how to move past them all and still come out relatively friendly housemates at the end of each day.
If you don't believe your environment shapes you, then you have obviously never lived with somebody outside of your own family.
Having roommates is completely different than living with a future spouse. For one, if your roommates piss you off then there's always a great chance they will move out soon anyway so problem solved. Unfortunately that's not the case with spouses. Unless you want to get divorced. Which some days sounds appealing...but probably doesn't count if you aren't married yet right?
Learning to live with somebody else's bizarre habits can be a trial and a half. Especially if the 2 people involved are as intractable as mules and twice as prickly as porcupines. Some might say we deserve each other. I think it really boils down to the fact that nobody else would be able to handle us without committing murder, going insane, or both.
So maybe we do deserve each other.
Even if it means putting up with a guy who comes home at lunchtime and sits in his boxers cuz that's what his dad does. Or not peeling potatoes over the trashcan (which I think is efficient because I'm the one that ends up cooking 99% of the time and cleaning up 100% of the time) because he thinks it's disgusting. Or fighting over TV shows because we don't like any of the same shows.
I could probably write a book on the differences in this household. Along with the billions of other people in the world. I will spare you all the gory details though since I think the above examples will do for now.
Why the heck do we put up with it?
I could go into a dissertation on love, the biological need to belong to a family unit and keep the species going, la la la.
The truth?
Even when I want to strangle the doorknob, I still want to be with him. Even if it means sitting shoulder to shoulder with smoke coming out of our ears and not speaking all night. Or day.
It would be too simple to say that it's "true love" or a chemical attraction.
We may not fit in every way, but in the ways that matter, we are a match.
And nothing reminds me to look at the positives instead of the negatives as much as being away from home. Even just 1 night is enough to remind me that at the end of the day, there is nobody I would rather be with. And nobody I can imagine spending each and every crazy, stupid, terrifying day with than him.
So maybe this is a dive into "true love". Because true love is hard work. It's not all rainbows and butterflies...but it is worth it.
It really is a miracle that marriage exists. In a good way :)
**Note: Could you tell I wrote this post in 2 separate days? I thought so! Day 1 being a frustrated day and Day 2 being a sappy day...if that doesn't show the complexity of relationships then nothing ever will!**
Oh, Mandy! This made me laugh out loud...in total understanding and empathy.
ReplyDeleteBut, really, I'm SO happy for you both. It sounds like you have what it takes to make it work. I'm not sure if that's courage, moxie or possibly insanity. (sorry) It's probably more of a combo deal, a little bit of all of those.
As someone who has spent over half of her life married to the same guy, and is still finding out little odd and random (and yes, annoying things) about him, I'll tell you...it's all good. (well, most days)
And, he feels the same...most days.
All the very best to you and Cody!
p.s. please send me your address. I'd love to send you and Cody something for your upcoming wedding!
I think it's mostly insanity...haha :) But I'm always glad to have some backup from people who have been married for an extended period of time. Because I know you've been in the same pickles many times! So thanks for the support :)
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